Monday, August 31, 2009

Lady-Luck.

Ohmygod! I'm going to announce that today was a suay day for me.

Firstly, I was rushing for school and I eventually dropped my phone into the bowl.
Then, it was dead. totally not functioning at all:'(

Then secondly, I was late and I rushed down. Taking cab:(

Thirdly, English paper was really KILLER!
Plus, I have been thinking about my phone totally no mood.
Which means single digit:(

Then, fourthly. I went to redeem prize. It was in a mess but well, still alright.

Today is definitely not a good day for me. I loathe 31aug09.
WELL DONE for it ah! *claps claps*

And I get bullied by dumb okay!
OHMYGOD! I felt like killing him, no, is have the urge man!

So teacher's day celebration was @@@@@.
Totally no comments, the volin was definitely the best one x millions than the others.
This year was totally xxxxxxxxx.

I wonder if the next year, will be worst than this year man.
Well, i guess today $ fly very fast(:
BYE PEOPLE.

| 5:41 AM |

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I dont understand and perhaps after all I may choose to let go.

People I'm not in good mood today.
Geography paper's a killer, I think I get 4marks for natural vegetation and 10marks for development?
Which is equal to fail lah, LOL!

Anw, physic was really unexpected. It's super over my imagination.
It's like almost all are theory questions and I totally dont understand any of it.
Really, SO MEANING?
Physic + geography = fail.
Well done for my prelim man! I think I did even worst for mid year.

Totally not in mood for anything, I think I shall just give up my prelim.
And many thoughts are running through my mind now.
I hope to be alone, just to make sure the final answer will remain as it is.
I have no idea, I seriously dont know.
I dislike this year, a bad year.

Many things happened, relative gone, family quarrel, studies and many more.
What else do I still need to go through, I always thought what I go through from my age is double of others.
I dont want to gain anymore experience and stuff, can I just live this year peacefully.
I guess, It's getting worst. One year after another.
Sigh, I dont know what to do.
At this moment of time, my mind went blank and stuff.

And I guess it's super hard for me to open this lock.
HARD, VERY HARD. I had lock it up for so many years, even to those who are close to me, I still hide some.
I dont wish to open it up or perhaps I lost the key to happiness.
Or I deliberately lost it or place it somewhere else I guess.

I dont know, I shall go out to get some fresh air.
All this stuff is getting out of control causes me to have difficulties in breathing.
Bye people.

| 5:55 AM |

Monday, August 24, 2009

| 7:53 AM |

You're everything that I want to hold on, but I'm afraid I'm not able to do it.

HELLOHELLOHELLOHELLO!
people I'm super bored now, i'm having math paper 1 tomorrow.
yet, I have not done anything that is productive.
EXCEPT, slacking(:

So I'm super duper sad today. Firstly, chemistry. Okay, lets not talk about it.
Then O'S english oral, damn _______. I answered the picture conversation with just a sentence or a few words because I'm super nervous.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! for the ten minutes I've been using it wisely.
But once I step in and saw the expression of the examiners, my mind went blank blank blank.
Seriously, I keep stopping and stuff. I keep apologising to the examiners.
But I think it wouldnt help, i even use my hand to bang my head and say sorry.

You must be thinking, WHAT THE HELL IS NOWELL TAN DOING.
I seriously was like damn damn damn pissed off with myself.
Cause I know I can do better, at least much more better than a few words and stuff.

So, of cause no point crying over spilt milk now.
I drank 2cans of pokka green tea and a winter melon to cool myself and had a feast.
Not to celebrate but to vent my anger, I was really down.
But thanks to all those aunties and uncles, THAT'S WHY I LOVE REDHILL.

They are there for me, cheering me up telling me it's alright.
At least I know that is my second real home(:

So, I have no idea how am I going to fail this prelim.
I think worst than what I thought:(
BYE PEOPLE(:
LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.



LASTLY, HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO HWEEZ.
May all your wishes come true(:

| 7:30 AM |

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The word that is craving on my heart is your name.

I guess my prelim paper will be redmarks all the way.
I've been slacking the whole day today, lying on the bed from morning till night 7.30pm.
Power pack!

I'm having social studies and chemistry tomorrow.
PLUS, O'S ENGLISH ORAL.
I've the urge of killing myself, but no point crying spilt milk now.
Everything's just too late. Perhaps after prelim then get started?

Anyway, I'm praying hard now.
At least trying to study social studies okay((:
BYE PEOPLE.

oh btw, go watch fuqiyouankang.
Super nice, thumbs up(: Even though, the first two epsiodes isnt that nice but, after that is.
OHMYGOD! and yes, I was watching 2 part of that(:
Okay I know, slacker right(:

| 6:46 AM |

Saturday, August 22, 2009

At this moment of time, I hope to be alone.
I'm tired, dont have to contact me I off my phone.
Cause simply it's super annonying. Ringtone keep ringing.
Sorry I just need some peace.

| 7:08 AM |

Whether to hold you tight or.

Hello people, I'm back from SP.
Woke up at 1.20pm, saw messages and calls from class clique, clique and bestie.
Called back and message back.

So prepared and went to redhill to help bestie take money from his daddy.
Then headed to SP to meet Malvin and others.
So, I was late. Quite late, okay should I say very late.
Gavin and the others was going off. Left malvin,ahmad,weihowe, jeremy and me.
So intended to study but I guess we were all slacking.

Write down some notes then the library was about to close.
Headed to canteen 5 and slack with weihowe and malvin. While others went off.
We were gossipping and chatting, super funny.
Headed home around 7plus, took bus 147 with malvin.

And Edison called me and chat, I have no idea who was he at first.
Cause I totally forgotten him, sorry.
Then he told me stuff till I reach home and "console" me by disturbing/bullying me.
SO NICE OF HIM! *evil*

So someone ask me, if you dont love, you wont tear.
If you intend to let go, why love.
Confusing but somehow I get what it means, But it's hard for me.
Too many obstacles I guess, I dont know how to handle it well.

I'm afraid I'll be a burden.
I'm afraid I'll not handle it well.
I'm afraid the same history will happen again.
I'm afraid of so many things.

I dont know how to say to you neither I know how to express to those who concern about me.
It isnt because I always want to keep it but sometimes, somethings is better to keep it to yourself.


And I seriously have no idea, why are people acting in this way.
It's getting me super pissed alright, without telling me anything.
But giving me attitude and stuff, I dont understand what I did wrong.
Just by appearing offline and being retard in msn as if I understand.
I dont fucking get the problem, why our friendship would become like this.
Can anyone just tell me whats wrong, I'm tired of this.

| 6:46 AM |

Friday, August 21, 2009

| 9:03 AM |

hello people, please help me to click on the nuffnang advertisment on your left(:

I just came back from town, ate kfc with beloved yumi and felicia.
Yumi was funny alright. And it was raining cats and dogs just now.
So felicia has umbrella with her and she say to us, slowly walk to ion ah.
Then yumi asked me whether I have bus concession.
I nodded, then we said we took bus there.
Felicia said we evil. HAHAH! and imagine felicia flys off with the umbrella.
I'll laugh like mad I guess.

Anw, today's english paper one, composition was a killer.
I nearer bang my head on the wall. LOL!
I wanted to write prejudice, but I cancelled it half-way.
And answer question 1, but the plot was super lousy I guess.
My Prejudice is better than the serious consequences. OHMYGOD!

Chinese was still alright except I dont have as much confident as before.
Because of the .............................

Oh, monday having social studies and chemistry. OHMYGOD!
tuesday - math, wednesday geography and physic.
I can puke blood le, my brain cells are dying soon.

tommorrow having english course, I dont want to go.
It's so early can:(

I shall go bathe now. And go out to meet clique later.
And maybe dumb(:
BYEEE.

| 12:30 AM |

Thursday, August 20, 2009

You're the one.

I'm having prelim english and chinese paper 1 tomorrow.
I bet I wont score well, I'm tired now.
Went to SP to study with clique.
Ahmad's super funny, especially the part when he want to zip his jacket.
Then he realised he's zipping the up for the chair also.
The chair too cold le. HAHAH!

So, after that headed to eat my dinner.
Then now, home sweet home.
It's raining now, I love it(:

| 7:20 AM |

LOVE

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

| 7:46 AM |

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

| 3:19 AM |

你会做一个坦白的坏人， 还是放手的好人。 答案是 , 放手的好人

I'm back from school, today school isnt nice.
EWWW, cause we've lots of worksheet.
I dont get the point of now giving us so much worksheet when we cant even finish it.

Fine, anw. Had chemistry group study today.
My shifu bully me. HAHA! So if I'm dumb student, of cause my shifu is a dumb one too.

So, I'm going to help my aunt today:(
ANDAND, tommorrow's the release of o's chinese result. NERVOUS!
and the worst thing's, we are going to get it at the end of the day.
OHMYGOD, imagine doing class work and stuff.
Then you keep thinking of the result you're getting. I bet everyone would be super ultra afraid of the release of the result(:

Someone told me, happiness is in your hand. Whether to hold it anot, is your choice.
To let go or hold on, I dont know. It's just a line between it.
It's tiring to think all this. So I choose to let go.

Or should I say, maybe I'm afraid that I cant do a better job and stuff.
I believe the one would do a better job. I'm tired.
Tired of thinking, confused of feeling.

I'm feeling happy. Feeling tired. Feeling that I'm lucky. Feeling hurt. Feeling confused.
Thousand of thoughts with just one word in mind.
Just dont know, whether to let go or to stay on.
Whether to open the lock or to protect it well. sigh.

| 2:04 AM |

Monday, August 17, 2009

Never say never.

Many things happened this few days.
And I'm lazy to blog about it, and somehow i forgotten some(:

Today school was super boring! Bored to the max.
Luckily, I've jiaming and felicia to entertain me and talk to me.
Ohya, we played murderer. And super funny i swear.
HAHA!

Sososos, NO GROUP STUDY AND QSSP. happy!
And, I went home. GOOD GIRL(:
Saw _____ on bus, smiled and then look away(:
So, headed home bathed and slept, I'm tired I'm having headache!
And chatted with ahtan just now. I'm having slight fever now.

ahtan was saying I make her ____.
Her karma, because she laughed at me when I'm in pain. AHAHA!
So, must be ahtan spreading it to me. HAHA!

anw, I came across this on yahoo's website.
Couple quarrelled due to facebook and also gold award runner, 9.5secs.
WOW! Amazing(:

SOSOSO, I'm bored now. WJ called just now and say lame jokes again.
keep saying himself HANDSOME, walao!
And prelim's just friday yet I haven even touch a single stuff.
Suddenly I felt like giving up. Just so tired.

N.tan have lots of thoughts. But I've no one to speak to. I only can hide and run.
Running from the fact, avoiding from everything and hiding my feelings.
I've no aim, nothing, just nothing.
I hate it when it comes to studies and everythings. ARUGH!

I wonder what is happening, SHOULD I LET GO OR SHOULD I GO?

Labels: ps. i loved you

| 8:24 AM |

Sunday, August 16, 2009

| 5:34 AM |

Friday, August 14, 2009

The sweetest smile.

Life is like a roller coaster ride with ups & downs.
It's something that we are excited about but also fear about it.
And now, I feel like I'm standing at the side puking my guts out from my emotion.

It's harder than I thought, harder than my examination.
And sometimes, I felt like giving up, crying out and everything.
But the next moment, I turn all this into silent.
Silent thoughts, silent cries and silent let go.

I guess, every human would go through this. It's the process.
Perhaps, when it takes time to heal.
To be honest, I never believe that time would heal everything, till now.
I believe.

Someone told me this before, face your life positively and you'll be real happy about it.
If you want to cry, just cry. If you want to smile just smile.
This's the authority of girl. Or should I say all human.

Perhaps, it's true. Dont hide yourself, be true to yourself and your heart.
And one day, you'll be truly happy.

I'll do it, I wont cry anymore. I'll smile to face everything.
HAHA! cause tan's family are strong and they never tear infront of anyone.
Only to your bestie or family members(:

And I'm sorry to those who concern about me yesterday's night.
I throw my temper @ you guys and stuff. My mistake, I apologise.

Anyway, THIS'S SPECIALLY FOR MY AH TAN & JIEJIE, JIA YOU(:
I LOVE YOU ALL(:

AND, THANKS TO ALL MY CLIQUES,BESTIE, DUMB, FRIENDS AND OTHERS.
thanks for being by my side, when I need someone to be there.
ILOVEYOU GUYS:DDD
------------------------------------------------------------------

AND HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO GAB, MY SUPERMAN DIDI(:
May all your wishes come true. ENJOY(:

| 11:04 PM |

Before everything, I told myself I've let go.
But at the very minute, I couldnt control my emotions.
I felt like crying, crying loudly.

It's like a joke to me, the very minute I totally give up and let go.
And press delete button and I saw you.
Can anyone tell me why, I feel like crying loudly, shouting loudly that.
Nowell tan cant be that strong anymore, she'll fall.
She'll cry. she'll bleed. But can anyone hear that.

I hate it, hate myself and everything.
And the feeling that i had.

| 9:14 AM |

| 9:12 AM |

Practice.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

練習

如果留下多一秒鐘
可以減少明天想你的痛
我會願意放下所有
交換任何一絲絲可能的佔有

幸福隻剩一杯沙漏
眼睜睜看著一幕幕甜蜜
不會再有原來平凡無奇的擁有
到現在竟像是無助的奢求

我已開始練習開始
慢慢著急著 , 急這世界沒有你
已經和眼淚說好不哭泣 , 但倒數計時的愛該怎麼繼續

我天天練習
天天都會熟悉
在沒有你的城市裡 , 試著刪除每個兩人世界裡
那些曾經共同擁有的一切美好和回憶~~

愛是一萬公頃的森林
迷了路的卻是我和你
不是說好一起闖出去
怎能剩我一人回去回去.

Super nice song, I keep watching this mv and also Huai Ren.
And listening to cry on my shoulder. NICEE(:
But my cramps spoil everything, idiot:(

So so so, wj's online and he told me a super lame joke.
Listen ah, what does HWJ stand for? so I say hongweijun and he say no.
Is handsome wj. super cold, I swear i feel like punching him. HAHAH!
And he was super proud of it because he's handsome. WALAO.
I think i not faint because of pain but laugh until faint. HAHA!

AND DUMB SMILEE, :DDD
See I so nice, I'm nice. tan(:

Okay, i shall off lappy and go to my bed and rest.
goodnight people. LOVE.

| 8:02 AM |

| 12:58 AM |

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Little miss - upset.

alright, I'm sad now. Super sad and moody now.
I dont feel like talking to anyone but I have many messages asking why I didnt reply.
I dont know why I hate this feeling.
I didnt say out to anyone, just me and myself know.

Perhaps, I shouldnt even think of that, OHMYGOD!
Nowell tan what are you doing and thinking, you this dumb dumb!
ARUGH, i dont like, i dont like.

oh, wj and others say they will bring me to east coast(:
*Jump around* Super happy, but I feel like going myself without anyone.
I dont know why, sigh.

| 8:18 AM |

| 3:48 AM |

L-O-V-E

| 3:34 AM |

It gets so hard,

Okay, I watched UP @ tiong with sister and shirley.
SUPER ULTRA CUTE, and I think it's really sweet for the old man to fulfill the promise.
And also the chubby small kid, and the bird. HAH! I feel like watching again with 3D(:
I rate it : 4.5/5 stars
And next will be xia dao xiao by jack neo. I think it'll be super nice.

okay today, school was rather fun I guess.
And guess what I was bully by them, evil!

But well, I love today's english course. The teacher make my day(:
And ahmad keep disturbing me, Idiot!
Ahmad and Gavin keep singing the L-O-V-E song. Super funny!

I dont know what to blog anymore,
and I'll mean it when I say let go, I promised(:
No more no more(:

Okay, tommorrow having math test. God bless(:
And I love strawberry cream lolipop(:
HAPPY(:


AND those who live in pasir ris, you are super lucky.
You get to see METEOR SHOWER! IT'LL BE SUPER ULTRA NICE. I WANT TO SEE:(
So bad, it is over. 6PM!

| 2:53 AM |

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It was a one-way road without any turning point.

It's 12.15am now, I'm still awake.
And I have to wake up early for school tomorrow:(

Anyway, I couldnt upload pictures taken on sat and also some taken on friday.
The rest is still with my baby yuwen, i'll upload it once I have the time.
Good things are worth waiting leh(:

And O's chinese result will release on 19 aug,
this causes me to stay till 3plus am yesterday night. IDIOT!
And the worst thing is, it is scary to wait for the release of result.
Like waiting for death, HAHAH!

Oh, wj text me and send me hello, goodbye!
I feel like killing him man, he thinks he's cute. HAHAH!

PLUS, I deleted something which is quite important to me yesterday night.
I pressed the wrong button and when I was about to cancel away, it was already too late.
Everything were gone, no more.
Perhaps, it answer to what I've been thinking. once gone means forever gone.
And maybe feelings and past are also the same.
Freak, I hate it! and I went to delete every single ones and told myself.
I'm not going to turn back. Because I'm STRONG TAN(:

Hao, I shall go to my bed now.
And try to fall asleep, before I get kill by someone(:
NIGHTS PEOPLE(:

| 9:09 AM |

Sunday, August 9, 2009

| 11:18 PM |

| 10:57 PM |

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Could you clear away the dark clouds and bring me blue sky.

I slept @ 6am and woke up @ 1pm.
I dont know what happen, neither can I expressed my feelings out.
I'm having this mixed feeling.
It's hard for me to move on like it's. It's harder than I thought, and even more difficult to do it.

I just dont know what I really want, and dont know why.
those good luck that I always have disappear in just 1 second.
I cant handle all this myself. Be it feelings, friendship, kinship, studies and whatever.
I'm just a teenager. I'm not a adult neither do I have maturity to handle all this.
I'm tired, tired of acting like I'm really strong.
Tired of smiling when I'm down. Tired of wearing a mask to cover the story behind.
TIRED OF EVERYTHING.

| 11:29 PM |

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Love walked in

Hey people, I'm sorry for the lack of updating my blog.
As I'm seriously quite busy, be it homework, outings and stuff.
I cant even have a chance to breathe i guess.

School is all about group study, homework, revision and QSSP.
totally no time once I get home, and have to rush like mad for stuffs.
especially when tons of homework were given by teachers.
Okay, enough of complaining. I promised someone I will start study alright.
See I keep my promise, I'm a good girl(:

Anyway, today's class was quite fun I guess.
And the course, the teacher's so nice. Ohmygod, I'm in love with her. HAHAH!
you know I was just kidding, did composition with ahmad. I swear I felt like giving him a punch.
HAHA! but I bet ahmad would come and visit my blog(:
But well, it's fun. Even though, ahmad keep disturbing me. HAHA!

Walked to mrt with shuz,yumi and fel.
And took mrt home with shuz, we were talking about the trail way and stuff.LOL!
and ya, Kenneth's hand was super swollen. and it's super cute lah(:
I couldnt upload the picture perhaps, tommorrow(:
I shall go now, byeee!

| 1:52 AM |

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