Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Okay people I'm not blogging here anymore I GUESS?
I'm fickle-minded remember! yes, maybe I'll change here & there!
http://ilnthm.tumblr.com this's my new blog! hHAAH! BYEBYE!
LOVESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

| 10:51 PM |

Monday, January 25, 2010

It's adding colour into my life.
Alright, Today was totally not a good day.
I declare now that I hate today, it was totally super wtf can.
And luckily someone cheer me up:) THANKS THANKS.
And yesyes, I FREAKING FEEL LIKE MURDERING PEOPLE.
If you dont even trust why bother to ask or say it out?
What's the freaking point man, get a life please. Cant be bothered to explain.
Yes, okayokay. Enough of chanting.
So yes did I told you, within 2 days and yes:)
I'm now @ episode 17:)
HAPPY! SUPER NICE CAN! OHMYGOD!




I LOVE THIS PHOTO!
Okay, bye! I shall get going. Watching Hi, my sweetheart now:)















| 11:26 AM |

Saturday, January 23, 2010

It's party time, & I want to say :

Alright, today was great. Went to celebrate winnie's birthday with primary schoolmates.
Yeah, super funny. Had waraku @ marina square.
Then SB came to find me, after that headed home.

Watching Xia Yi Zhan Xin Fu, AWESOME!
I've been crying & crying for that show:(:(
Hi my sweetheart just come out new episode:) Super happy!

And damn it, I'm going to watch finish that soon. Meaning, another drama:):)
Okay I shall continue to watch my drama:)


LASTLY,


HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO WINNIE TAN,
You've been such a "buddy sister", Thanks for being there whenever I need.
There're tons of time, we always quarrel but I know at the end of it, we'll always get back together. And may all your wishes come true, ILOVE YOU!:DDDD

Happy 19th BIRTHDAY TO KAISHENG,
Heyhey even though, I know you wont see this post. But well, hope your wishes come true.
And thanks for everything:D

| 10:55 AM |

Thursday, January 21, 2010

It's aweseome.


Alright, Went to town to find raj & fel.
walked around @ ion, brought clothes @ new look, money gone:(:(
I'm feeling super heartache can:(
I'm totally broke for this month, or the entire week. I'm spending money like tap water, most importantly, I dont know what I spent-.-
Because it's either out with mummy & spent it, or cliques.
Okay, back to it. After which went to outram, ate chicken mee @ the market there.
YUMMY! I love the mee, so QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ!
Then home sweet home:) Wanted to find aunt but then too tired to find.
And that stupid turtle keep saying I bully him now, HAHA! So loser can:P
Anw, I shall get going. WATCHING DRAMA! LOVES.

| 5:07 AM |

Monday, January 18, 2010

Cause you're the one; that I want to hold your hands with, through this journey.


Alright, I just forgotten I dint update about yesterday.
Had dian xin @ the afternoon with uncle, sister, sister's bf & mummy.
YUMMY, not bad for a 5 stars hotel:)

After which went around bugis junction area to shop, then sister & her bf went for work.
Left me & mummy & uncle, headed around & uncle left for massage.
Went around and walked & yes that's when all my $$ flied.
two-hundreds-dollars, & mostly, it wasnt mine.

It was for my sister(s), mummy & daddy. I only brought 2 tops, hairbands & ear stud.
But it was super fun, mummy's a joker man. Keep making me laugh:)
Oh, I saw aaron & lester @ BJ too!

After which, waited for uncle to drive us to orchard for dinner.
AND I SWEAR, THE FOOD THERE'S LIKE AWESOME! JAP. FOOD:):):)
Those friendly service too:) It's @ lucky Plaza there, 4th level if I'm not wrong.
Then home sweet home;)

Today went out with the mental people, everyone were not in good mood.
Which I've no idea why, but I enjoyed hitting raj:)
HAHA! and the joke in page one:):)
So went up to the open air space @ vivo city to play water.
It was fun at least to me, splashing baby water & she kicking water-.-
Ate @ superdog, and it was when I started to miss all those past I have.

Thoughts just keep rewinding on my mind, nothing could stop it.
Making me hard to breathe, hard to see through things. It's all full with thoughts & past.
At that moment, I hoped I have a doramon with me, to rewind back to where it was suppose to be.
AND YESYES, I SAW SHOOTING STAR! I MADE A WISH & guess what?
SB dint, LOSER! HAHA!

I dont know why, but it's like somehow I understood the meaning of life.
God would return you something good when you lost something precious.
That's how life goes on, everyone live in their fear & never get to step out.

No matter how hard they tried, sometimes, things just remain the same.
The only way's to face it bravely, never ever try to be a tortoise, hiding inside your shell.
It's time to pluck out all your courage, get out of your comfortable shell & fight with it.
Perhaps, it's. I know action speaks louder than words.

Okay, I dont know what's wrong with me this few days, suddenly I trusted more on this kind of stuff.
Bye people I shall go offline now, if not SB's gonna murder me:)
LOVES!

Labels: ,

| 12:05 PM |

Sunday, January 17, 2010


Cause tonight's gonna be a goodgoodnight.


Sorry people, I'm little emotional now. Perhaps not little but much.
I'm sorry for causing anyone around me to get worry for me.
I just read finished one book, it's called This's my story.
It's based on the true life story of a 18years old girl.

Just reading the title, it caught my eyes.
Perhaps, I'm a Gemini & interested in every life experiences and story that's why this book caught my attention and attracted me to buy.
After reading this book, it makes me understand alot of things.

"Everything has its place & time and everything happens for a good reason" -

what a good quote right, its really make me think hard & recall hardly for the past & hurtful memories.
JUST BECAUSE:

I always tend to run away from hurtful memories & the past which I hatred the most.
And that I want to erase off totally from my life, it's a pain of having these memories.
It brought me lots of pains, heartbroken, fear & every afraid of things that I wanted or desired for.
Perhaps, it's time to stop running & face the facts.
Stop day-dreaming & hiding from my past & hurtful memories, it's a sign to tell me.

" Nowell, face it bravely stop avoiding. It has been years for you to run & hide like a coward."
This really knocked me hard, I'm suddenly awake, and have the courage to face all this. [I hope it's not just for this moment of time]

This fear has lived with me for 5years+ and also others that add on to this fear, this burden, and thoughts of getting out of my comfortable room & step out.
Perhaps, all this while I've been protecting myself, laying a invisible shell within myself & others.

It's time, time to get on. I cant just live in my world for the rest of my life, I dont want to disappoint people around me. Especially those I loved. It takes time to walk out slowly, move on slowly.

After years of protecting myself, getting use of all this "realistic life" I'm getting all along.
Sometimes I blame the god, blame him for landing me to such a state. Blame destiny for going that path that ruined me.

But as times goes by, I know it's all me. Not anyone else.
Cause destiny lies in my hand, fate's just a guide line. IT'S ALL ME, WITH NO ONE.

I was shocked or amused by how this book can totally changed my thoughts.
It's like OHMYGOD CAN!

Even years of friends, my beloved family & who's close to me cant change my thinking, my characters & many. How can such a book make me wanna learn more, move on.
And get a life out there, rather than crying over spilt milk.

Life's like a roller coaster, there're ups & downs.
You wont know the next minute what you will land in, happy? Or sad?
So much for a emotional Gemini, there's twin. REMEMBER?

Just as I agree with my horoscope, my emotional controls me & my mind.
It TAKES OVER CONTROL OF everything, a new start for this year & a good start.

18 years old indeed, it's time to get alittle serious:)
But also FUNFUNFUN!
Suddenly, I saw the light that enlighten me to another path. Something which I desired for.

Sorry for being like this, it just makes me wanna share it.
I guess it'll also bring joys & enlightenment to people who're suffering or worst:)
cause I know all this's gonna be gone & a brand new life's waiting for us ahead.

"Every person you meet, come into your life either for a reason, a season or a lifetime"
-my favourite quote for now:DDD

| 10:40 AM |


"Fate doesnt lies on the hand of humans but by the
god.Cause you wont know what you would get, would recall,
would think, would happen, would act. But gods know & controlling all this." xoxo,well

| 7:37 AM |

Saturday, January 16, 2010

You make me wanna hold you in the middle of the night;

Okay I type out a whole page of words & stupid blogger,
It was all gone, BLOODY HELL":(:(:(

Okay fine, I shouldnt be chanting like a mad woman:)
So yeah, slept till 4pm today, because I was freaking sick & tired.
Ate panadols & headed to sleep:)

After which, prepared & went to JP to meet SB.
Went around to bank then after which went to city hall:):)
Brought books from MPH & the book are awesome:D

went to eat @ taiwan cafe there:)
YAY! super yummy, but freaking full. HAHA!
So headed to find aunt , chatted & SB sent me home:D
HOME SWEET HOME:)

Sorry Zhiliang, was in a rush back home, dint called you:(
& yes, tomorrow outing with mummy & bestie:):):)
I'M LOVING IT:)

Lastly, picture of the day:)
MY GIRLS<3


AWESOME CLASSMATES, AWESOME FRIENDS, AWESOME HONEY, AWESOME PRECIOUS & AWESOME BABY(S)

Nights people, shall go to bed now.
I'm having headache again:(

| 9:44 AM |

Friday, January 15, 2010

ILOVEYOU:)
Baby! SUPER ULTRA CUTE!
It's freaking going to 3am now, I'm still awake:(
Such a sad life man, I've been watching youtube.
I'm getting addicted to all this again, damn!
Bestie just complained that I dint called her but keep watching youtube, LOL!

The dance moves are awesome, especially the korean studio ones.
Good dance plot & stuff:):)
I'm still figuring out which course to get:(

Hard to decide, remember I'm fickle-minded:)
So yesyes, bestie is busy tomorrow:( But it's okay meeting her on sunday:)
LOVES!

And people, you're getting on my nerves! Stop asking the same question, RESULTS!RESULT!
What else? which poly and stuff, oh man! After so long, you're still asking the same question.
I feel like murdering them! ARUGH!

Okay, I should stop chanting and chanting.
Anw, did I tell you I miss DINOS! Imiss AWESOME PEOPLE THERE:(:(:(

I seriously have no idea what the hell I'm typing, I'm starting to type some alien language now.
DAMN IT!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
IMISSMYCHILDHOOD:(:(
MY OLD DAYS!:(:(
SHE'S FREAKING CUTE! I SWEAR! LOVES!
LASTLY,
GOODNIGHT ALL:):)

| 10:42 AM |

Cause everytime the storyline changes;



Today's the end of JAE admission, I dint get a chance to amend it again.
But it's okay, I'll wait till the result of poly admission out then go for appeal:)

Anw, dint went to work today, wasnt feeling well.
I miss work, I miss crazy sugo & others.
I went to JP to take my paid with raj, -.-"
We were like crapping all the time, stupid!

So ate my lunch + dinner @ MOS burger.
Then headed to popular, looking out for books. LOL!
Couldnt find the book then went to vivo city,
I swear we were laughing like mad in the mrt, HAHA!
FREAKING FUNNY!!!

Reached there, couldnt find that book,
But raj sat there and read for an hour time. -.-
Home sweet home after that.
Super tired now, going out with mummy tomorrow:) & perhaps my girls tomorrow:):):)
Since how long did I last go out with my mummy & my girls:(, was super busywith stuff.
But it's okay, shopping time tomorrow:):)

Going to call bestie now, nights all:):)
WITH LOVEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!<3

| 8:38 AM |

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I've to say, I miss you:)
Sorry for not updating my blog, was too busy with working & poly admission.
Alright, work was fun fun fun & FUN!
Especially with the little kids around me, it make it more awesome!
Oh ya, did I told you about the DSI! awesome one with its camera functions, chat rooms & its sound recording.
I'm thinking of getting one:DDD
Okay, I shall get going! Working @ IMM today:D
PICTURES:

My favourite little girl:)

SUPER ULTRA CUTE!

CAT! LOL!

LOVESSSS!


& LASTLY, PICTURE OF THE DAY:)

SUGO<3<3




BYE PEOPLE:DDDD

| 6:37 PM |

Monday, January 11, 2010


Today was such a disappointing one, never expect myself to get such a point for my best 2 subject.
I hate it man, super sucky:(:(
Tons of people are crying, either joy of tears or sadness.

Sigh, But it's okay life have to go on.
I've to sleep now, working tomorrow:(
Bye!

| 9:34 AM |

Friday, January 8, 2010

Imiss all dinos, superdog, queensway secondary school:(
My AWESOME 112'05, 212'06, 311'07, 411'08, 511'09.
& MY PRIMARY SCHOOL CLASSMATE, SCHOOLMATES:(:(:(
I swear:( When I think of those days we had, fun & laughter together.
It just makes my day up:)
And telling me, yes I know I still have you guys:)
Especially you, silly:D

| 8:46 AM |


Went out with ben, baby & my beloved precious raj:)
Played arcade with ben & baby, awesome! I know the driving game:D
And I won lah:) Except for one, i was like so near please. It's like I'm leading lah:(
After which, raj came then went to tiong bahru park.
Was playing in the rain & thanks to it, I'm sick now:(
But I thanks god, cause I saw cute little kids there.
That're so adorable & they let me understand life in another way.
Everyone have its own troubles, bad memories, impacts in their life & so.
Yet this little kids may be young at least, they face it much more better than me.
I felt so lousy about myself, losing to a kid.
I'm worst than them I guess, at least they dare to face their emotions.
Yet I'm just avoiding, running away from every emotions & problems I'm facing each day.
How pathetic can this be.
So yes, went to redhill market to have my lunch + dinner:)
Yummy! I love banmian:DD
Sent raj to bustop & walked back with ben.
yep, home sweet home.
Anw, did I tell you mummy keep asking me to eat medicine:(
But I escaped from it:):) Smart!
& guess what, I realised my money is slowly leaving me:(
Cause I've been spending it like "openign the tap water"
I've gonna save it, & YESYES! perhaps, I've got a star cruise trip.
Cross finger please:D:D
I want to go oversea, mummy just promised me.
It all depends on 11jan, monday:)
PLEASE, I HOPE IT''LL BE A GOOD DAY FOR ME:)
With loves!

| 8:11 AM |

Thursday, January 7, 2010

ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER,
SILLY.

| 10:05 AM |

Happiness's so near yet so far.

I guess I've disappointed many people around me,
Perhaps I'm making everyone distant from me.

Seriously I've no idea what I've been thinking and doing lately.
Sorry people, I swear this isnt what I want. I dont want any heartbroken & disappointment in you guys:(

Chris just scolded me, I swear this's the first time he talks to me this way.
And I know all this's for my own good, perhaps.
It just give me a extreme knock into my head, I have not been behaving like myself for I've no idea.
Those happier I just was destroyed in just 1 second, yet happiness have to be constantly built up.
It takes months or even years to slowly entrust yourself and feel the happiness.

And precious , sorry! I'm freaking sorry I swear I dint mean to.
I'm sorry to disappoint you:( You know me right, I'm seriously out of mind today.
I know I know, just give me alittle time, perhaps, I would be fine:)
AND I know, you'll always be by my side like how I did:)

I know I've to make a decision, yet I just couldnt.
Lots of things are making me more and more confused.
I know myself the best, I wants to hold on but I couldnt.
So the only way left is to push this happiness away,

It's so near yet so far, I just dont know what I want after walking and walking.
It still cant get through, FUCK!

| 9:38 AM |

I guess I'll be locking up my blog soon:)
Bye people, I'll be MIA for alittle while.

| 6:31 AM |

There're many things I've been regretting lately in my life, perhaps there're more to add on.


I've been asking myself for the rest of today,
What am I holding onto now, is it me or nothing.
I seriously hope I can know nothing, perhaps it's true.

When things are gone, you tend to regret what you've done.
But I know adding another regret to my life.
Yes, I know I'll be regretting as times goes by, HAHA!

It's just another small part of my life, it's time for me learnt to be independent.
Stop relying on people around me, I rely too much.
Where's the one that keep saying I'll be independent, Nowell.

Someone just knock some words into my mind today,
I'm still young, I know I can still fool around but as I get older, it's time to think about things.
But you know I'm tired of thinking and thinking,
I'm tired of crying and crying,
I'm tired of saying and saying,
I'm tired of expressing myself & emotions.
I'm just so sick and tired of everything now, that I hope I can just walk off.

Just the part where there's only me, myself and I.
But till now I dont know, there're so much I wanted to spilt out,
yet that word "trust" is seems to be nowhere.

Since when have I started locking up myself, protecting myself from the surrounding.
Sometimes, I just hope I can disappear for alittle while, no one can contact me & find me.

Sigh, I just dont know what I want, I just know that I always screw up things.
I just hope it's raining now, perhaps it can cover up for the things I've been doing lately.

I'm STARTING TO DISLIKE MYSELF, DAMN FUCK!


ihtgouhtfoginhts, emomries & utffs.
phapersilouhsdujsttleogofuoy.
Mybaetaht'satebteraywrofuoynadme.
yetiujstncatberanogidit.

| 6:10 AM |

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Maybe it'll still be a disppointing one.

Watched Alvin & The Chipmunks 2 today:D
Awesome, super cute! I feel like grabbing them:)
Must watch alright!:DDD loves!
Btw, I'm go gonna watch The hunter treasure. I forget the title:(
It's by jay chou, I'm gonna watch it:)

Before that went to eat thai express, yummy!
I love it, raj and ben have been crazy this few days:)
I guess sooner or later I'll be one too.

After which ate dinner @ JP then home sweet home:)
Chatted with raj on the train, I swear it's a heart to heart talk!
I love it man, went to 7-11 and buy sweets&drinks:):)
HAPPY!

I'll upload photos tomorrow or so:):)

Yeah, many things are running through now.
I'm afraid of falling and hurting. I swear, I dont want anyone to get hurt or so.
I dont know if I should remain like this, or pluke out my courage to step one step forward.
But I've this feeling, good things wont last. And I know myself the best.

Perhaps, I shouldnt even step 1/4 of it.
My mind's full with IDONTKNOW! & ???
Should I stay or leave, it's still unknown to me:(

| 7:25 AM |

Monday, January 4, 2010

The flash-back & past is what that is holding me back.

I swear my mood today was down down down down down.
Fucker! I'm totally not in any mood alright, initally I just keep tearing and tearing.
Tons of flashback, makes me think, feels and at the same moment to erase it away.

What's wrong man, can anyone answer me.
It's just so hard for me to accept things now, or perhaps, I never try to accept before.
Every step takes me lots of courage, I've to pluck out my courage.
Cause I'm standing at the middle of the road, deciding what it's now.

I just feels like letting go of every single things I'm trying to hold on now.
It's tiring for me, hard for me.
Perhaps, things always goes wrong for me.

Fcuk, I seriously dont know myself. So many questions and doubts I'm having right now.
I feel like just hitting my head.

I dont feel like going anywhere, I just told jun I'm not going out tomorrow.
Cause I just feel like slacking at home the whole day!
BYE!

| 7:43 AM |

Sunday, January 3, 2010

It takes time to understand and know human's heart.

I'm lazy to type out what happened this few days.
Just slack, play, eat, and sleep.

Anw, I cut my hair today. I wanted to change another hairstyle but then I dint.
So yeah, went to JBP with shaun, ben and raj. Then raj lost his wallet.
I hope that person that took it with him/her would return, I believe in karma:D
So yes after which went to eat then walked around.

Then brought cake home, chatted with raj on the train:D
Indeed, I'm hard to understand, cause I never wanted someone to understand.
Humans are hard to be trusted, I dont know. Perhaps.

Many thoughts are running through my mind, I dont know.
Seriously I have no idea what I want now and stuff.
Even now, I myself starts doubt about myself.
Indeed impacts and falls make people learn in a hard way.

For it, it may takes times, days; weeks;months;years ad so.
The scars will always remain but the wound will recover somedays.
But when you saw this scars, all this will just remind you of things that you hope you can forget.
No one's perfect, everyone have their flaws.

But yet, everyone hopes that they can be perfect.
I dont know, it takes time to know humans.
Cause there're always changes.

I shall go sleep now,

LASTLY,

HAPPY 33TH BIRTHDAY YAMI,
I thanks god for sending you to me, cause without you, my life's seriously nothing.
You added colour to my life and I love you, cause I seriously treats you as my family member.
And I gonna tell you, even if many things had happened, you still have me, us.<3

| 10:21 AM |

Friday, January 1, 2010

It's a I dont know question.
I gonna make it short,
I'm not going to work anymore starting from today:D
I feel sad without my awesome JWT but in the same time I feels happy.
Cause of the screw up management, BYE

| 9:24 PM |