Sunday, January 17, 2010
Cause tonight's gonna be a goodgoodnight.
Sorry people, I'm little emotional now. Perhaps not little but much.
I'm sorry for causing anyone around me to get worry for me.
I just read finished one book, it's called This's my story.
It's based on the true life story of a 18years old girl.
Just reading the title, it caught my eyes.
Perhaps, I'm a Gemini & interested in every life experiences and story that's why this book caught my attention and attracted me to buy.
After reading this book, it makes me understand alot of things.
"Everything has its place & time and everything happens for a good reason" -
what a good quote right, its really make me think hard & recall hardly for the past & hurtful memories.
JUST BECAUSE:
I always tend to run away from hurtful memories & the past which I hatred the most.
And that I want to erase off totally from my life, it's a pain of having these memories.
It brought me lots of pains, heartbroken, fear & every afraid of things that I wanted or desired for.
Perhaps, it's time to stop running & face the facts.
Stop day-dreaming & hiding from my past & hurtful memories, it's a sign to tell me.
" Nowell, face it bravely stop avoiding. It has been years for you to run & hide like a coward."
This really knocked me hard, I'm suddenly awake, and have the courage to face all this. [I hope it's not just for this moment of time]
This fear has lived with me for 5years+ and also others that add on to this fear, this burden, and thoughts of getting out of my comfortable room & step out.
Perhaps, all this while I've been protecting myself, laying a invisible shell within myself & others.
It's time, time to get on. I cant just live in my world for the rest of my life, I dont want to disappoint people around me. Especially those I loved. It takes time to walk out slowly, move on slowly.
After years of protecting myself, getting use of all this "realistic life" I'm getting all along.
Sometimes I blame the god, blame him for landing me to such a state. Blame destiny for going that path that ruined me.
But as times goes by, I know it's all me. Not anyone else.
Cause destiny lies in my hand, fate's just a guide line. IT'S ALL ME, WITH NO ONE.
I was shocked or amused by how this book can totally changed my thoughts.
It's like OHMYGOD CAN!
Even years of friends, my beloved family & who's close to me cant change my thinking, my characters & many. How can such a book make me wanna learn more, move on.
And get a life out there, rather than crying over spilt milk.
Life's like a roller coaster, there're ups & downs.
You wont know the next minute what you will land in, happy? Or sad?
So much for a emotional Gemini, there's twin. REMEMBER?
Just as I agree with my horoscope, my emotional controls me & my mind.
It TAKES OVER CONTROL OF everything, a new start for this year & a good start.
18 years old indeed, it's time to get alittle serious:)
But also FUNFUNFUN!
Suddenly, I saw the light that enlighten me to another path. Something which I desired for.
Sorry for being like this, it just makes me wanna share it.
I guess it'll also bring joys & enlightenment to people who're suffering or worst:)
cause I know all this's gonna be gone & a brand new life's waiting for us ahead."Every person you meet, come into your life either for a reason, a season or a lifetime"
-my favourite quote for now:DDD
